Social distancing has become a phrase all too familiar in recent weeks.
The Coronavirus crisis the world is currently facing has left us facing many unique challenges and worthy obstacles. One of the many downsides is that for those of us who live alone, the “alone” part has gotten a lot longer.
Without knowing exactly when social distancing might subside, even just for a short while, it’s impossible to set any real plans that involve seeing many people, or going on vacation, or heading to the ballpark for a game. Even a local stroll in the park or on the beach can be limited with uncooperative weather and closings of beaches and state parks, as well as the overall hesitancy people have of being around others.
We are living in unprecedented times for our modern era. It’s uncertain, scary, and confusing, yet we all must press on and do the best we can do to survive and thrive another day.
SINGLE PERSON HOUSEHOLDS
I have lived alone for much of my adult life in multiple cities. Depending on the time of my life, I still had plenty of social outlets if need be between family, friends, work, and various social gatherings. At times it can get a bit lonely, but I still had many options to get me out. Most of those options are not available during this current crisis, and it’s making the time alone seem endless.
How many American adults live alone?
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2018, there were 35.7 million single-person households, which equated to 28% of all households. Roughly one-third of all homes in the U.S. That is a staggering number of people who are likely facing this crisis alone daily.
MENTAL ILLNESS IN THE US
The National Institute Of Mental Health (NIMH) states that 46.6 million people (as of 2017) in the United States are living with a mental illness. That is a staggering amount of people dealing with mental health issues. Some of these are moderate, while others are more serious.
The combination of dealing with a mental illness and living alone can put many at risk for drug addiction, alcoholism, and even suicide.
During this state of self-quarantining, reaching out to those around you who live alone is paramount. But it doesn’t apply to just those who have a mental illness, but also to those who do not. Being secluded for weeks and possibly months away from other people can begin to wear on a person’s psyche. Regardless of how introverted someone may be, human connection is still essential in any healthy, happy person.
CREATE A SELF CHALLENGE
Okay – time to get creative! Have you ever created a self-challenge before? I’m going to assume that every person reading this has done just that, but called it something different.
What do I mean by “self-challenge?”
- Think of one area in your life you want to improve or enhance.
- Define what about yourself or your habits you want to improve or enhance. Examples of this could be: waking up at the same time each morning, exercising consistently, writing in a journal each day, losing weight, scaling back your stress, managing your anxiety more efficiently, getting in touch with your spiritual side, and so forth.
- Create a challenge to accomplish this task. For example:
- Regulating your sleep; for the next three weeks, make it a habit to set your phone alarm to two hours before you want to fall asleep. Then, begin your nightly routine. If you need more than three weeks, then do this until it becomes second nature.
- Exercising daily; write up a weekly schedule of exactly what activities you want to accomplish each day. Check off each day until you’ve completed the three weeks.
- Losing weight; set a realistic (and healthy) weight goal for the three weeks. Plan your meals and diet accordingly, and weigh yourself at the end of each day. After the first week, you’ll have a better understanding of how you want to approach your diet each day to reach your goal.
These challenges can and should be fun yet also tricky. Don’t sell yourself short. You can adjust the time frame of each challenge as well. I typically do three weeks, but it also depends on the challenge. Good luck!
LEARN A NEW SKILL OR TACKLE A PASSION
There may never be another time like this again in our lifetime. Take advantage of the extra time you have to explore other areas of interest or improve upon a skill. Think about any passions you have or skills you want to enhance, write each down, and make a list. Implement some time each day to learn and improve these new skills or passions. Months from now, when life begins to settle back down into normalcy, you will look back and appreciate the time spent learning something new and enhancing your life experience.
STAY CONNECTED TO LOVED ONES
Human connection, even if not physical, is vital during these trying times. Make sure to keep in touch with the people you love and reach out to others who live alone. If you feel isolated or depressed, pick up the phone and call a friend or family member. During these times more than ever, we need to stick together. Schedule a video chat or a game night where you can connect with multiple friends or family members and play some of your favorite games while enjoying the virtual company of loved ones. I’ve been doing this with friends and family members, and the positive energy you feel during and after is palpable.
USE MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES
One of the saddest aspects of the entire pandemic is knowing there are millions of people living alone around the world who struggle with mental illness. Living alone can be lonely enough at times, but when you are forced to stay at home in addition to the loneliness, you feel trapped. You also can’t physically see friends, family, or any mental health professionals. Luckily, there are a plethora of mental health resources available to assist those in need. Do not hesitate to take advantage of these resources ranging from suicide prevention, to online therapy, to substance abuse and addiction. I’ve listed some below.
Substance Abuse And Mental Health Services Administration
Resources For Military Veterans
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Center For Disease Control Stress And Coping During COVID-19
National Alliance On Mental Health COVID-19 Resource Guide
National Wide’s Children Behavioral Health Resources For Coronavirus
FOCUS ON PRODUCTIVITY (BUT DON’T OVERDUE IT)
Let me start by saying – if you’re struggling with any mental health issue or have been experiencing any level of high stress or anxiety, take care of your mental health needs FIRST. Productivity can wait. Once you have a grasp on your mental health and feel like you’re in a healthy state of mind, focus on becoming efficient and productive.
Now, there is a difference between being busy for the sake of being busy and being productive. Productivity is geared towards focusing on one important task at a time. If you focus on less essential tasks, multitasking, or not performing at an efficient level, productivity will struggle. Below are some books I highly recommend that you can purchase or download that will help significantly boost your productivity levels:
The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People By Stephen R. Covey
The Power Of Habit By Charles Duhigg
The 4 Hour Workweek By Tim Ferriss
The Productivity Project By Chris Bailey
Also, this TED TALKS VIDEO by Productivity Project author Chris Bailey. He will make you rethink your approach to productivity.
PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
Staying in the present moment can be tough when dealing with high levels of stress. But until you learn how to master the moment, you cannot master anything else. You will not be as effective in accomplishing tasks, calming anxiety, and managing your mental health if you are not focused on the present moment. Mindfulness will keep you centered, engaged, and energetic. Here are a few quick tips on how to stay mindful:
- Focus on your breath – the in and the out. Keep coming back to your breath while reminding yourself how unique it is to be alive.
- Focus on nature – go outside (away from people), and stare at the sky, a tree, a bird, or whatever suits your fancy. Escaping into nature is a beautiful and soothing way to bring yourself back to the present moment.
- Focus on your current task – whatever it is you are doing; this could be making dinner, cleaning the house or apartment, playing a video game, or getting work done. When you put one-hundred percent of your focus on the task at hand, it creates a level of “flow state” where you lose track of time and immerse yourself in the present.
USE PERSPECTIVE AND RELEASE UNHEALTHY THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS
It’s comfortable with everything going on to fall back into negative thought patterns. If you watch the news for even five minutes, you’ll see plenty of negativity, sadness, and anger. Much of it is warranted, and in some respects, justified by the drastic times we live, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a different perspective. I recommend staying well informed and realistic, but do not fall into the negativity trap that so many do. If you live in a perpetual state of fear that leads to constant fight or flight emotions, you will not be able to properly manage your stress, anxiety, or any other mental or emotional health issues.
Staying grounded is a robust and taxing road, but the benefits are a healthier mind, spirit, and body. The best way to do this is by taking a different perspective – looking at the situation from many angles instead of just one.
Doing this takes practice and effort.
You’ll have plenty of moments when you fall back into an old unhealthy thought pattern that releases the fight or flight chemicals into your brain. This process is like any other addiction; your body craves those chemicals because it’s been conditioned into specific thoughts that produce certain emotions. You have to stay diligent and aware of your every thought to stay ahead of it. If you let negative and unhealthy thoughts slip by, they will keep on activating the fight or flight chemicals in your brain and sending you into bouts of anxiety.
To stave off these thoughts, try to observe them, feel the emotion behind them, and then let them go. I use the analogy of a train car passing by me to release my negative thoughts. Whenever negative thinking comes down the tracks, I visualize a train passing by with the negative thought on the back of one of the train cars. I observe it, feel the emotion attached to it, and then watch it pass by me as though it’s a speeding freight train rumbling down the tracks. You can use whatever analogy you wish, but cars, trains, and planes seem to work well.
IN REVIEW
Living alone during this pandemic is not easy. Even for the biggest introverts, there are challenges and barriers to both; lack of options and lack of physical human connection being two. But we can, and we will get through this together. It may take some creativity, and some outside of the box thinking, but we will emerge stronger. Use this time wisely, build a business, work on a passion project, take back your mental health, connect with family and friends, develop healthy routines, learn how to cook and bake, and, most importantly, come out of this with a different perspective on life. One that lends to gratitude over fear.
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