Feeling anxious was as natural for me as the sun rising.
After struggling with anxiety and bouts of situational depression for many years, I finally decided enough was enough.
I was choosing to go full steam ahead and change my routines and habits, which was a scary decision. These feelings were at times paralyzing. My old-self was running an anxiety-ridden, depressed, and downtrodden pattern of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Whenever something would go wrong – I’d panic. The panic then turned to frustration, and eventually anger. And after a while that anger turned into anxiety and even bouts of depression.
This pattern lasted for several decades.
At times, I thought that I’d be stuck in this pattern for the remainder of my life. Feeling this kind of persistent darkness was nothing short of maddening.
I knew that I needed to make changes.
THE CATALYST TO CHANGE MY ANXIOUS MIND
Life often presents us with situations that can help us learn and grow.
I was presented with one such moment when I met a woman, unexpectedly, at an industry trade show. The connection between us was almost instantaneous, and we both felt it. For months following we talked and built up an undeniable bond. Unfortunately, for various reasons including distance, we couldn’t be romantically together and it hurt me a great deal.
Fast forward six months later, I meet another woman, develop the same connection, and again, mostly because of distance, we couldn’t make it a viable long term relationship.
I fell in love twice within one calendar year and was still left empty-handed.
After both of these experiences, I was severely depressed.
“Why me? Why can’t I ever find the right girl at the right time?”
This depression lasted for months. I was running on lower energy, always tired, hardly ever focused. It was difficult to get excited about anything. I was trying to piece together a way I could get through this pain.
All of this left me even more anxious than I was before; I was now anxious about being anxious and depressed. I was sulking in the anxious feelings of the unknown:
When will I get myself out of this funk? Will I ever start to feel more like myself? When, if ever, will I find that right woman?
That’s when I began doing some soul searching.
DIGGING DEEPER
I read and researched and met with family and friends. Then, I went back to therapy and began implementing what I was learning into my life. I developed healthy habits. And slowly but surely, changes started occurring.
The depression subsided, the anxiety became less and less, and my obsessive thoughts weren’t as severe. I was becoming a healthier version of myself.
I felt more in control of my life.
THE HABITS I ACQUIRED
I Am More Present
When you’re depressed or anxious, you are typically living in the past or worried about the future. Mindfulness, or being fully present at the moment, has kept me grounded and kept me focused on the current moment. When you are present in the moment, you can’t be anxious or depressed, because you’re focused on the HERE AND NOW. Whether you are watching a show, listening to music, talking to a friend, playing a sport, reading, or staring out the window, remember to stay present as much as you can.
I Detach From And Observe My Anxious and Depressing Thoughts
I have found that “detaching” and observing my thoughts helps me put them in perspective, rather than getting caught up in them. Viewing my thoughts as a passing cloud in the sky has changed my perspective; almost like you’d observe a friend who is struggling without getting immersed in it yourself. Whenever an anxious thought or depressed feeling comes over me, I take a step back in my mind and say to myself, “I notice that you’re feeling anxious about (such and such)” or “I notice that you’re feeling depressed about (such and such).” And then I observe it, nonjudgmentally. This gives you control over it, rather than it having control over you.
I Sweat More
Staying physically active and fit has been a factor in helping stave off anxiety and depression. Studies show that exercise is an effective way to combat depression (and anxiety). For me, just walking every day and building up a sweat has increased my well-being and made me feel less anxious and less depressed.
I Focus On My Passions
When you are engaging in a passion, it’s hard to stay anxious or depressed. For example, Upplifter has been a focus for me the past few years as well as other writing projects. These projects have kept me in sync with my goals and dreams, helped me grow my confidence, and kept me from rumination and depressed states of mind.
I Am Vulnerable
Dr. Brene Brown goes into great detail on how being more vulnerable can enhance our lives during this TED TALKS. As it relates to my anxiety and depression, I wrote a blog post back in 2015 in which I publicly announced on my Facebook, my struggles with anxiety and depression. The response was overwhelming. I came to realize how many other people struggled as I do. And since then, I’ve been more vocal about my struggles, allowing me to connect with others on a much deeper and authentic level.
I Perform Deep Breathing
Breathing Techniques have helped me calm my nervous system down when I feel a bout of anxiety coming on. Deep breathing has many benefits, but being able to naturally calm your amygdala (the part of your brain that triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response) is crucial in taming anxiety.
I Meditate Daily
My Mediation Practice has had healing effects far more significant than I could’ve imagined. Meditation has brought me to a calmer, more relaxed state of mind over time. I have an easier time dealing with anger, frustration, and anxiety. I meditate daily for twenty minutes, and I recommend doing your research and tailoring your meditation practice to your unique needs.
IN REVIEW
Through my experience dealing with anxiety and depression, I have changed in many areas. After years of trying out techniques and experimenting, I now have a healthier balance with my life. Every one of us is different, so what works for me might not work for you. But keep going, keep researching, seek professional help, and never give up hope. I promise you better days are to come.
If you have any questions or would like a free anxiety coaching consultation – contact me at brad@upplifter.com!
Although we strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any medical or health-related decisions. For your health-related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
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