Mindset and grief are two aspects of life you cannot avoid.
Your mindset determines how you live your life, and grief is a certainty of being human.
How do the two go together?
WHAT IS GRIEF?
Grief is a deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement.
Grief is a complex emotion that can be tricky to deal with over time. The strange thing about grief is that it’s both predictable and unpredictable. When someone close to you dies, grief will almost certainly rear its ugly head; that’s the predictable part.
The unpredictable part occurs months and often years later when a song comes on the radio, when we smell a specific scent or food, or when we watch a TV show or movie that has meaning to the person we lost. That’s when grief can suddenly hit us with the force of a Mack truck. You never know when this type of grief will hit or how long it will throw you into a funk.
WHAT IS MINDSET?
A mindset is a mental attitude or inclination, a fixed state of mind.
When you’re battling anger issues, you could say that you carry an angry mindset.
The same goes for people who tend to see the glass half-full; they could be categorized as carrying a positive mindset.
There are two distinct types of mindsets:
FIXED MINDSET:
People who have a fixed mindset believe that these qualities are inherent and virtually unchangeable.
GROWTH MINDSET:
Conversely, people who have a growth mindset believe that these qualities can be developed and strengthened by hard work and dedication.
WHY IS MINDSET IMPORTANT
There are several reasons why mindset is essential to your life.
When we change our mindset to align with our values, purpose, and goals, we give ourselves a more significant opportunity to achieve, act, and live them out.
Developing a healthier mindset can set the stage for every other area of your life; romantic relationships; career opportunities; physical, emotional, and mental health; family and friends; and achieving your desired goals.
Mindset also can carry us through the rough patches that life inevitably brings to us.
When you possess a healthy mindset, you typically have more emotional stability and bounce back quicker from any adverse situations. Certain people that I admire who have this healthy mindset have been through just as much chaos and struggle as others, but they possess qualities that help them overcome and thrive, even through adversity.
But how can mindset help us heal from losing a loved one?
5 STEPS TO ENHANCE YOUR MINDSET AND HEAL FROM LOSS
1. DO NOT SET A TIMETABLE FOR THE GRIEVING PROCESS
A key aspect of a healthy mindset is perspective and patience.
One of the biggest misconceptions about the grieving process is that it’s supposed to take a certain amount of time, and after that time has passed, you will feel better and be “healed.” This notion is highly flawed and inaccurate.
Every person is completely different, with varying genetics, environments, and situations, so some people’s grieving will last longer and be more emotional than others.
And the reality is that if you lose someone extremely close to your heart, you’ll never entirely stop grieving – you’ll just learn how to cope with the void.
There is no timetable for grief.
2. RELEASE YOUR EMOTIONS (IN A HEALTHY MANNER)
I want to preface this by saying when you’re dealing with powerful emotions that are overwhelming and difficult to manage, please consider seeking professional counseling or speaking to a trained mental health professional or coach.
Having said that, getting your emotions and true feelings out about the grief you’re experiencing is critical in the healing process. The old saying, “You gotta feel to heal,” is true. Bottling in strong emotions will only cause you more pain and suffering later down the line. Releasing your emotions in a healthy manner, such as crying, talking to a friend, or journaling, will pay dividends. The more you release those emotions, the more you’ll gain power over them, instead of the opposite.
3. REACH OUT TO PEOPLE YOU TRUST FOR COMFORT
Getting through grief alone is nearly impossible. As humans, we need connection on some level, especially when we are going through a terrible loss. Being around those who have our best interest at heart and can listen to our thoughts and feelings without judgment can significantly impact our mindset.
Finding that connection might be as simple as a parent, a sibling, or a best friend. But it can also be a mental health professional, a grief-oriented group, a church or spiritual organization, or a life coach. Whomever it is, be sure to lean on them during the rough times. Human empathy and compassion is potent antidote for grief.
4. PRACTICE HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS
A healthy mindset falls back on healthy habits.
While going through the grieving process’s initial and more vulnerable aspects, you might look at quick fixes to help numb your pain. Some of these will not be healthy choices, such as excessive alcohol, drugs, porn, or other risky behavior. Sure, some of them might temporarily numb your pain, but they do more damage long-term if you use them as your primary coping mechanisms.
The key is finding healthier options. Think in terms of both your grief and improving your lifestyle. Activities such as exercising, eating healthy, getting quality sleep, spending time with family and friends, and immersing yourself in a passion project are just a few examples of healthy coping mechanisms.
Find out what works best for you and use it.
5. HELP OTHERS WHO ARE EXPERIENCING GRIEF
Empathy and compassion are cornerstones of a healthy mindset.
You may think this sounds strange, but helping others while going through grief can be highly therapeutic.
Now, by helping others, I do not mean abandoning your own needs during this time.
I mean that when you are there for another person who is also suffering, it will help bring both of you a little comfort and joy during these challenging times. You’d be surprised at how much of an emotional lift it can be to help others experiencing similar emotional wounds. You’ll also be able to relate to the other person in ways many others won’t.
Never underestimate the healing power of helping others.
IN REVIEW
No matter how healthy your mindset is during a time of grief, you will still feel many uncomfortable and strong emotions. Sadness, anger, and hopelessness are just a few emotions that will showcase themselves during these difficult times. But having a healthy mindset and healthy habits and quality people around you will help ease the suffering. And it will also help to grieve “productively,” without falling back on unhealthy coping mechanisms that will only enhance your suffering over time.
Losing a loved one is never easy, but with the proper mindset, you can traverse the rocky roads and find yourself back on your feet again. And although you may never be the same person after a tragic loss, you will have learned that grief, as horrific as it is, can be gotten through.
If you have any questions or would like a free life coaching consultation – contact me at brad@upplifter.com.
Although we strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any medical or health-related decisions. For your health-related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
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