Meditation has changed my life.
It has given me an opportunity to tap into my subconscious mind, get behind my anxious thoughts, and release painful emotions of my past.
Meditation was not something I actively pursued. Believe me when I tell you that meditation was the furthest thought from my mind during the years leading to my experimenting with it.
I had struggled for many years with obsessive thoughts, suicidal ideations, and negative thought patterns. The pattern of these nagging thoughts slowly began to wear on me until I couldn’t even tell the difference between the real me and the overthinking me – they became the same in my mind.
It wasn’t until a friend turned me on to meditation through his own experience and book he gave me, that I finally said, enough is enough, let’s give it a try.
The only problem was – I had no idea what in God’s name I was doing.
The first few times I had tried meditation years earlier, I say there for only a few seconds, and my mind began racing, thoughts circling like wolves pursuing a meal. I tried to be “silent,” but nothing seemed to work.
So I did what any enlightened person would do.
I quit!
But the second time around was different.
I told myself, “you’re going to sit here for twenty minutes and not move, eyes closed, in this chair.”
It was the longest twenty minutes of my life, bar none.
Each second that passed felt like ten, and each minute like an hour.
But I did it; I managed to get through each of the twenty minutes. I was so proud of myself, and then it hit me – I need to do this again tomorrow.
How will I survive?
Yet, with patience, practice, and consistency, I turned mediation into my best friend.
FIGURE OUT YOUR WHY
Perseverance pays off when you have a mission, a purpose for what you’re doing. For me, meditation was a means to an end; the ultimate goal was to create better habits in managing my obsessive thoughts and subsequent anxiety.
Before you delve into meditation as a full-time daily practice, think about why you want to do it.
Are you looking to calm anxiety?
Quiet your overthinking mind?
Or is it something else, such as getting over an ex, or healing past trauma?
Understanding your why is important because different meditations and methodologies can be implemented based on this knowledge.
Know your reason, know your why.
MAKE IT MANAGEABLE
I started by jumping straight into twenty-minute sessions, but I wouldn’t recommend this amount of time to beginners.
You want to get acquainted with sitting still and watching your thoughts pass through your mind. This takes time, and it takes patience, and it takes awareness.
If you’re having trouble staying in the present moment and don’t think you can last too long, meditate for a minute.
Just one minute.
Do this every day.
Make sure you set a time, after you wake up, during your lunch break, or right before bed. Whatever works for you.
Eventually, you can start increasing the time of each session.
But to start, make it manageable.
DON’T WORRY ABOUT STOPPING YOUR THOUGHTS
One of the number one complaints I’ve heard from people who said they couldn’t stick with meditation or don’t want to try is that they can’t stop their thoughts.
My answer is always the same.
“So what?”
A puzzled look of confusion usually follows this statement.
You’re not supposed to stop your thoughts, even the guru’s and meditation experts won’t ever prevent their thoughts from appearing. Thoughts are going to come and go; the trick is to observe them instead of getting caught up in them.
Let me repeat.
Meditation isn’t about stopping thoughts – it’s about observing them as the awareness behind those thoughts.
You are not your thoughts – you are the awareness behind them.
Use this awareness to watch your thoughts come in, observe them, feel the emotion behind them, and then let them go.
BE EASY ON YOURSELF
Meditation is a process, not a destination.
So please, be easy on yourself!
You will have days that you won’t want to sit down, days you’ll forget, and days that the meditation seems fruitless.
Stick with and trust the process.
One of the reasons I quit meditation the first-ever time I tried it was because of the pressure I put on myself to “get it right.” I thought I had to be perfect, no thoughts (which we now know is not possible), no missteps, nothing but perfection. But with meditation, like almost any habit building, the process itself, the good and the not so good IS perfection. The perfection is in the process of improvement and discovery, not some end goal.
Keep that mindset while you attune yourself to performing meditation as a regular part of your daily routine.
INCREASE OVER TIME
As I briefly explained already, it’s best to start small and build your meditation practice.
If you try to do too much too soon, you will likely get discouraged and quit. That is not what we want. Besides, going from zero to a hundred with meditation can burn you out. So stick with a small dose and then gradually expand.
For instance:
Week 1: Start with one minute sessions. (1m)
Week 2: Increase by thirty seconds. (1:30m)
Week 3: Increase by a minute. (2:30m)
Week 4: Increase by two minutes. (4:30m)
Week 5: Increase by two and a half minutes (7m)
Week 6: Increase by three minutes (10m)
If you stick to this schedule, within six weeks of your first sit down, you will have gone from one minute to ten-minute sessions. But you will have done so gradually and methodically, leaving little chance of feeling overwhelmed or burning out.
This is the type of schedule you want to maintain until you build up to a number you are comfortable with doing every day.
My number is twenty minutes, but I have done meditations for well over an hour, and as little as thirty seconds.
The key is to increase over time.
EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES
As you explore meditation, you will find that there are many different techniques and practices which could potentially suit your own needs.
Practicing meditation is like the dating world, there are many different types of suitors out there, but you need to find the ones that best fit you. Everyone is different in this respect, so go into it with an open mind.
In the first three years of my practice, I was addicted to silent meditation, where I would sit in silence for twenty-minute sessions. There were no mantras, no humming, no pep talks, no apps, no headphones, no nothing. Just silence. This is still my go-to meditation, but I’ve learned that I also enjoy other forms of meditation.
The secret is experimentation. Try out as many different practices and techniques as you can, because just like dating, once you’ve experimented and experienced some variety, it’s much easier to pinpoint the ideal fit.
MAINTAIN CONSISTENCY
Last and most important, stay consistent with your meditation practice.
Meditation, like muscle building, takes time to hone and must be maintained to experience the benefits, both emotionally and physically.
You may find yourself motivated to try meditation for the first few weeks, then after not feeling any immediate results, give up your practice. I would highly suggest staying with it for at least a few months before thinking about giving up.
It took me roughly two to three months to feel comfortable with the twenty-minute sessions I was doing.
Maintaining consistency will enhance the positive effects of meditation and lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself and the people around you.
Just give it a chance.
IN REVIEW
Meditation can have life-changing effects if you give it a chance.
Like you, I was once a beginner with no clue of what I was doing. I hated it and never imagined myself sticking with it for years.
I also never foresaw the long term benefits it would create in every area of my life.
As I’ve stated, the keys to beginning meditation are:
- Figure out your why
- Make it manageable
- Don’t worry about stopping your thoughts
- Be easy on yourself
- Increase over time
- Experiment
- Maintain consistency
Good luck and email me if you have any further questions!
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