Social Anxiety Disorder affects approximately 15 million Americans and is the second most common anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety is defined as the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. Many people are terrified of being negatively judged and evaluated by other people which is a symptom of social anxiety. This type of anxiety is chronic since it does not go away on its own.
Social anxiety can and usually does affect every area of a person’s life.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you are curious about social anxiety:
Are you scared to go out into public places?
Do you have an irrational fear of crowded areas of people?
Is it frightening to speak to people at a work event or social gathering?
If you answered yes to all three, you may be dealing with some level of social anxiety.
If you feel that you do have social anxiety, it is best to see a mental health professional and get the help you deserve. I hope in some small way this post can assist with any professional help you may receive.
Below I’ve jotted down some real-life examples of social anxiety.
ROBBIE THE COLLEGE STUDENT
Robbie is a college student and has a big class project that he has to give a speech on. He has spent countless amounts of hours prepping and coming up with the perfect speech. He knows the lines, understands the content, and is polished in his speaking. There’s only one (major) issue; Robbie struggles from social anxiety. He is petrified about having to get up and make a speech in front of his classmates. On top of the social anxiety, public speaking is another major hurdle for many people, so this adds to Robbie’s concern. The day of the speech, Robbie, who is now frozen with fear, emails his professor that he won’t be making it to class today because he is not feeling well.
Robbie isn’t suffering from the flu or cold, but a case of social anxiety.
MEGAN AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND
Megan recently started talking to a guy named Matt whom she met through mutual friends. They’ve hit it off via text and phone conversations and he seems like just her type. After some conversation, Matt invites Megan on a date to watch their favorite sports team play. Megan says “yes,” but doesn’t tell Matt of her social anxiety. On the evening of the game, Matt says he will pick Megan up at her house to drive down to the stadium. Later when Matt arrives, Megan walks, nervous, and acting strangely. She hesitantly gets in the car and they drive down. Once they get to the game Matt can tell Megan is extremely nervous; she doesn’t want to walk into the crowd of people near the gate and tells Matt she prefers to watch the game back at her place.
Matt is perplexed, Megan is ashamed and embarrassed. This is the power of social anxiety.
BRADY THE LONER
Brady is twenty-something living on his own. He is able to work remotely because of his job as an IT specialist, so he spends much of his time at his apartment. Brady is a friendly, likable guy with a head on his shoulders and a good demeanor. But his friends have noticed something about Brady in recent years – he hardly ever comes out. They invite him to parties, sporting events, and get-togethers but Brady usually declines. What they don’t realize is that Brady desperately wants to join them in the festivities, but suffers from social anxiety. He has never told them about his troubles with social anxiety.
It has now led to him feeling secluded, lonely, and miserable. This is what social anxiety can do to a person.
Social anxiety can be paralyzing to the person experiencing it.
It’s important to remember that there is treatment available for social anxiety but to set realistic expectations. In many cases treatment and managing symptoms take time. Be patient, and make sure that you are compassionate to yourself. It’s not easy dealing with this type of extreme anxiety, so don’t get angry at yourself if you fall back a few times. Just keep going, you’ll see the light.
7 PROVEN WAYS TO MANAGE SOCIAL ANXIETY
Train Yourself To Become More Assertive
Becoming more assertive can help with managing social anxiety. Many people who struggle with social anxiety lack proper assertiveness which can lead to a lack of boundaries that enables more anxiety to occur. Learning how to become more assertive can be difficult at first, but over time can help to reduce the anxiety. Letting others know of your boundaries, and of your true thoughts and feelings can be liberating and helpful. Try first on small things and then work your way up to bigger things.
Reframe “Worst Case Scenario” Thinking
Reframing negative thinking or what I call “Worst Case Scenario” thinking is one way to reduce social anxiety. In the case of almost every different type of anxiety, negative and faulty thinking is usually one of the main culprits. For example, for someone struggling with social anxiety – if they are invited to a party with a friend, their first thought might be “I am going to say something stupid and embarrass both myself and my friend! I just know it! I should just stay home and spare myself the embarrassment!” That is the type of worst-case thinking that keeps us bound to anxiety, and like a cycle, the negative emotions that are attached to those fear-based thoughts. Try reframing those thoughts into something more realistic and positive such as, “I will go to the party and have fun. And if I do say something embarrassing, it’s not the end of the world, I’m allowed to make mistakes!”
Use Deep Breathing Techniques
If you are familiar with Upplifter, then you know that I am big on deep breathing techniques to combat anxiety. Deep breathing has helped me in many areas of my life in which I struggle with severe anxiety. And many people I have personally talked to or interviewed have also stated that deep breathing is a highly useful tool in fighting anxiety. Deep breathing is a wonderful way to counteract the strong and intense emotions we face with social anxiety. These strong reactions can throw our breathing off into shorter, quicker breaths which makes anxiety worse. Deep breathing techniques can help stabilize your breathing while decreasing the symptoms of anxiety.
Challenge Yourself To Face Your Fears
Facing your fears is another way to overcome them. When you think about all the social situations and potential outcomes that terrify you, make a list. And then begin to jot down ways you can deal with those interactions. Take small steps during this process. You do not have to go from never leaving your house to conquering the world, but even the smallest step in facing your social anxiety can make a big difference. For example, if you have an irrational fear of going to a major sporting event, then try just getting out of your car and standing next to the stadium or arena for a few minutes. You don’t even need to go into the game. Start small and build upon it until you can watch an entire game without being uncomfortable and overly anxious.
Seek Professional Therapy
In any area of mental health, seeking professional help is always a good option. I still struggle with anxiety and have for years, and when I went back to therapy it was a game-changer. Therapy can be beneficial for many reasons, namely because you can openly and honestly discuss your social anxiety with a professional who will not cast judgment or negativity towards you. They will listen and give you advice and tools on how to best manage and overcome the issues you’re going through. Being able to share your journey with a qualified mental health expert who will guide and support you is a major advantage.
Talk To Someone Who Has Overcome Social Anxiety
I have found that in any area of life in which I am struggling, speaking with someone who has been through the same struggles and can lend advice is always beneficial. If you know of anyone, family member, friend, coworker, classmate, who has also struggled with social anxiety reach out to them. I have found that most people are more than willing to lend advice. If you don’t personally know of anyone who has overcome social anxiety, then join a social media group or a local group in person that deals with anxiety. You will likely find members who have successfully overcome their social anxiety and who can help give you advice and knowledge.
Use Medication (ONLY if prescribed by a professional)
Medication is one route you can take in trying to combat your social anxiety. If you feel this is an appropriate avenue for you, then contact a licensed professional (psychiatrist, doctor, etc.) to get diagnosed and recommendations on specific medications. There are many people who take medications for anxiety. Remember that each person and each medication is different. So, only try this route after consulting with a professional.
IN REVIEW
Social anxiety can be a hell to live through. The fear social anxiety produces can cause all sorts of issues in a person’s life, and can limit that person’s potential. The good news is that it is treatable and there are many methods that work. Oftentimes it’s a combination of methods that work best. If you are currently struggling with social anxiety, there is hope and you can get better. Ultimately, it’s up to you to make the appropriate changes. I’m rooting for you to do just that!
If you have any questions or would like a free anxiety coaching consultation – contact me at brad@upplifter.com!
Although we strive to provide accurate general information, the information presented here is not a substitute for any kind of professional advice, and you should not rely solely on this information. Always consult a professional in the medical and health area for your particular needs and circumstances prior to making any medical or health-related decisions. For your health-related questions, please seek the advice of a licensed physician or any other qualified health care provider immediately.
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